Well, you can just rock me to sleep tonight..

Bear in mind, Folks, that under normal circumstances, I usually could not give a ragged rodent's rectum about the trials and tribulations of dumb ass celebrities. I avoid such chronicles such as "People" magazine because I find them tedious at best. However, this little gem was too good to pass up.

Paris Hilton is traumatized over her jail sentence. Apparently she thinks that her "celebrity status" is causing the legal system to have some sort of "vendetta" against her.

Paris, my dear, accept the fact that you were driving drunk. Driving under the influence of alcohol is a crime and you were lucky - you got off with probation. All you had to do was not drive for a given period of time, oh.. and stay sober. Given that you have a whole battery of lawyers and publicists, at least some of whom must have understood the situation and explained it to you in great detail. Still you violated your probation and further claim not to have understood the conditions involved. This chain of events leads me to believe that one of three things, or perhaps a combination thereof, has occurred:

1. Your lawyers and publicist are all incompetent and should be summarily disbarred/fired.
2. You are too stupid to breathe, in which case, thank you for reinforcing every stereotype there is about blondes.
   
3. You belong to that rarified group of people who seem to think that the laws that apply to the plebian population do not apply to them.
   

Welcome to what must be a wholly new concept for you: the consequences for your actions. I hope you like orange.