Mayors in trees

Since someone has already seen Jesus on the wall of a Tim Horton's in Cape Breton (or at least until they changed the light bulb) and the Virgin Mary on a billboard advertisement for a Pizza place, I can't really imagine that this is too strange:


Likeness of dead mayor seen in tree trunk.

"I see Jesus," said Cathy Sansone, the membership director at the health club who says any resemblance to the late mayor is simply the "power of suggestion."

Well, you can just rock me to sleep tonight..

Bear in mind, Folks, that under normal circumstances, I usually could not give a ragged rodent's rectum about the trials and tribulations of dumb ass celebrities. I avoid such chronicles such as "People" magazine because I find them tedious at best. However, this little gem was too good to pass up.

Paris Hilton is traumatized over her jail sentence. Apparently she thinks that her "celebrity status" is causing the legal system to have some sort of "vendetta" against her.

Paris, my dear, accept the fact that you were driving drunk. Driving under the influence of alcohol is a crime and you were lucky - you got off with probation. All you had to do was not drive for a given period of time, oh.. and stay sober. Given that you have a whole battery of lawyers and publicists, at least some of whom must have understood the situation and explained it to you in great detail. Still you violated your probation and further claim not to have understood the conditions involved. This chain of events leads me to believe that one of three things, or perhaps a combination thereof, has occurred:

1. Your lawyers and publicist are all incompetent and should be summarily disbarred/fired.
2. You are too stupid to breathe, in which case, thank you for reinforcing every stereotype there is about blondes.
   
3. You belong to that rarified group of people who seem to think that the laws that apply to the plebian population do not apply to them.
   

Welcome to what must be a wholly new concept for you: the consequences for your actions. I hope you like orange.

I love my car, but

Mechanic: I have sex with cars.


Words fail me, they really do.

Street Preacher vows to stay loud and proud

Pawlowski believes the city is persecuting him because of his religious message.

The city of Calgary is prejudiced against our message of hope in the name of Jesus and there is some witch hunt against the cross," he said.

No, My dear, they are persecuting you because you are using a bullhorn and we godless heathen hordes would like a little peace and quiet as we go about our sinful ways.

Hell Hath No Fury

Like a Man with a Graphics Package

Minnesota Man Sentenced for Printing Lewd Stickers